Custody issues....?

I have been divorced since July and me and my ex had two daughters ,Ava and Lily ,together that are now 6 months old(Ava we began divorcing when I was pregnat with her)and almost 2(Lily) also care for my 3 year old niece.





Currently custody arrangements are: my husband sees his kids every other weekend. They spend the night both Friday and Saturday and return to me Sunday afternoons.





Now my husband is saying the custody arangement isn%26#039;t fair, that he should see the kids more. But with his lifesituation, it isn%26#039;t best. He does have a good job, but lives in a 1 bedroom apartment in a highly crime-rated part of our town. My 23 month old has to sleep on a pull-out couch in the living room and my 6 month old sleeps in a baby swing at his place!





He says he%26#039;ll find a bigger place if he gets more custody. Is it possible for him to get custody? HELP! I want my kids to be safe!

Custody issues....?
First of all the actual papers are a guideline for you to follow. Courts put those in place for when the parents are not getting along at all. If you as the primary caretaker choose to allow him to see the kids more that is your choice and yes you can do that without going back to court. If he wants it permanet he needs to take it back to court not you. As for where he lives. If you are that concerned about it tell him he needs to move BEFORE you start letting him see the kids more. You want to know they are safe and that is okay. If he says he will take it back to court, let him. You have been abiding by what the judge ordered and now he wants more time. You have done nothing wrong, just remember that. As for can he get custody well he would have to prove that you are unfit. And that is VERY hard to prove. My husband%26#039;s ex is a admitted crack addict and drug abuser and she has custody of thier son. Mostly just follow the papers to the letter and increase it only IF he does what he says and not before. Remember that the papers are you guideline, that he sees them at apecific times and you can increase that on your own. Does this make sense? I hope it helps.
Reply:The laws are different in each state You really need to contact a lawyer or legal aid.





Having said that, however, I will give my opinion. I would think that the courts would expect him to change his living conditions BEFORE he tries to get the custody order changed.





I would also like to say, please put yourself in his place. Would you want to be able to see your girls only four days a month? If he is a decent person and you don%26#039;t fear for their safety (with him, not the neighborhood), you might really want to consider letting him have joint custody - with one stipulation - that he get the youngest a safe bed of some kind.





I actually say this from experience. I let my ex-husband have joint custody with our son because I realized they both needed each other more than the time they were getting together. My lawyer tried to talk me out of it by telling me of women who had done this and came back to him regretting it. I pointed out to him that the ones it worked for would have no reason to contact him!
Reply:If this was agreed upon in court, that%26#039;s what it is.





In order for it to be changed in either direction, one of you will have to petition the court.





You would have to show just cause why the children are endangered (good luck with that).





You%26#039;re talking about getting child services, psychologists and the like involved.....not to mention lawyers. It%26#039;s going to cost money, time and emotions.





Are you ready for that sort of fight?





Good Luck to you.
Reply:I personally think your just trying to be a b*tch, who cares if his apartment is small ask him to atleast get a play pen for the baby to sleep in. what%26#039;s wrong with sleeping on a pull out couch. Their are millions of families that live in dangerous neighborhoods, Atleast he wants to spend more time with his children their are men out there who could care less. Consider yourself lucky
Reply:you moved across country and he was willing to follow you there to be closer to his kids? you need to get a grip on yourself and get down on your knees and thank God that your children have a father who cares! kids don%26#039;t care where they sleep at that age. if he wants to see the kids more then let him see them on weekdays after work or something. give your children the gift of knowing both of their parents. they will love you more for it. keep in mind that he is probably paying child support to you or struggling in a new place to make ends meet. why would you fault him for that? buy a playpen and just happen to send it to each weekend visit so that you are not hurting the childrens fathers pride!!! if he is a good father then do not be afraid that he will get more custody. unfortunately it is the price that everyone pays for divorce. even the kids.
Reply:If he gets a bigger place in a safer neighborhood sure he can remember it%26#039;s his children to.You should be glad he wants to spend more time with his kids. If he gets more time with his kids maybe you should find a hobby to occupy your time when they%26#039;re with him
Reply:The court isn%26#039;t interested in where he lives as long as he has adequate space for his children overnight. A pull out couch is adequate As far as the swing goes my niece slept better in her car seat than she did in a crib, go figure. What matters is that they are healthy and happy.
Reply:you should be asking a lawyer not on line so get a lawyer and fast. or he can do damage. only a lawyer can help


good luck
Reply:He has rights and so do you children. Don%26#039;t deny them of their father. I really don%26#039;t believe you are concerned about their safety, if you were you would be against them being there all together...especially on weekends when crime rates are higher.



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